What is Equality in Marriage?

What is equality? Are men and women supposed to be equal?  Does being equal mean we’re identical? Finally, when is it okay for men and women to accept their differences?

There are obvious traits that men and women possess that make them physically different. Our physical bodies are built different and for good reason. In The Family- A Proclamation to the World we learn that “All human beings-male and female- are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” From this statement we learn that our gender was apart of us long before we came to this earth and it will remain with us when we pass into the eternities. 

Each gender has roles and responsibilities that come more naturally to them. It is our privilege to learn, grow and master those roles as we experience mortality. Gender began here on earth with Adam and Eve. The bible teaches that Eve was to be a “helpmeet” to Adam. Does this mean Adam was in charge and Eve was supposed to serve as his servant or inferior? I don’t think it does. When you look at the word helpmeet it actually means someone who is a companion or equal to us. When I think of companion I think of a equal partner who is there to offer sustaining and support in a particular companionship. If we truly understand the term “helpmeet” we can bring this term into our marriage and allow it to serve us in our relationship. 

I’ve been married for over seventeen years. I am not a formal marriage counselor nor does 17 years of marriage give me the authority to say how your marriage should be but there are a few things I have learned along the way. 

I’ve learned that an equal partnership does not mean that both spouses have to be the same. I don’t want to be my husband and he doesn’t want to be me. This is a good thing. I also don’t feel that I have to make the same amount of money my husband makes. Nor should he make the same that I make. I think we should be rewarded according to our education, experience and work ethic no matter what field we choose to go into. There is not a job here at home that he feels he is exempt from preforming because he is simply a man. Nor is there a job I refuse to do because I am a female. However, I don’t like to kill bugs and I am more than happy to call on him for that when needed. If I did need to kill a bug I would and if he needed to empty the dishwasher he would. Equality in marriage is about mutual respect for one another. It’s about accepting that you each are different with different talents and capabilities. It’s embracing these differences not competing against them. When this is accomplished the sacred role of a man and woman in marriage is exemplified.