Marriage is not perfect, nor was it ever intended to be. However, there are some fundamental processes that can be learned to create a strong foundation for marriage.
John Gottman who is a leader in understanding marriages and who has done the research with thousands of couples to figure out why some marriages last while others dissolve taught some basic principles of successful marriages. Gottman taught that couples are best off when they are friends first. This builds trust and understanding prior to romantic feelings. Become friends with a future significant other first. Learn to enjoy their personality and learn how to have fun together before anything too serious arises.
Another great piece of information when trying to build a solid marriage foundation is to understand what a covenant marriage is. Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the seventy taught, "When trouble comes, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. they marry to obtain benefits and will stay on ly as long as they're receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to five and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent. But covenant companions each give 100 percent. Enough and to spare. Each gives enough to cover any shortfall by the other." Understanding this concept will ensure a solid foundation in your marriage.
Learning to be completely dedicated to the Lord, your spouse and your covenants will take work. It takes preparation now if you haven't married and if you are already married it will take humility because it involves changing. Some traits that most of us need to work on with ourselves is learning patience. Patience with others, especially our spouses. It wouldn't hurt to master communication skills that will help to resolves differences in a healthy manner. Learning to listen, truly listen can go a long way in any relationship but especially a marital one. Another way to build that strong foundation is to commit to courting your spouse even after marriage. The dating and fun times don't have to stop. In all essence, this is when the fun beings.
President Spencer W. Kimball taught, "The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life or occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse." Another important concept to building a lasting bond.
Your marriage is not something that can ever be taken for granted. It is your commitment, your covenant. It is yours for eternity- treat it as such.
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