If I had to sum up the secret of successful marriages in two words I would choose the words to be repentance and forgiveness.
For years I had a little old piece of paper hanging on the fridge that read, “Be quick to say “I’m sorry.” I think that simple piece of advice is what has save my husband and I from long drawn out, unnecessary arguments.
Repentance and forgiveness go hand-in-hand. You can’t really seek forgiveness without offering repentance. In marriage, or any relationship that is valued, it’s imperative to learn how to desire repentance and seek forgiveness from those whom you have offended.
Throughout the course of a marital relationship change is inevitable. Change comes in all forms from physical to emotional to spiritual to financial. All of us change throughout a course of a life time and hopefully we are seeking to change for the better. Change is often good. It means we are progressing, moving forward and developing into the person we desire to become. Sometimes we make choices that impact not only ourselves but our dear family members. When those choices are less than ideal it is necessary to seek a change of heart and ask for forgiveness from those who might have been affected. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said regarding change and forgiveness, “The gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to change. Repenting means giving up all of our practices- personal, family, ethnic, and national - that are contrary to the commandments of God. The purpose of the gospel is to transform common creatures into celestial citizens, and that requires change.” Our ultimate goal is to be eternal companions with eternal families. Change through repentance and forgiveness is necessary.
What happens when you are deeply hurt by your spouse? What happens when you don’t feel like they deserve forgiveness? What do you do when their personal choices impact that rest of your life? Sadly these are questions that many, many couples have to face. There is really only one way to right a wrong. The answer is found both in offering forgiveness and seeking repentance. No marriage should be found void of these two things. Elder Richard G. Scott explained, “The beginning of healing requires childlike faith in the unalterable fact that Father in Heaven loves you and has supplied a way to heal. His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, laid down His life to provide that healing. But there is no magi solution, no simple balm to provide healing nor is there an easy path to the compete remedy. The cure requires profound faith in Jesus Christ and in His infinite capacity to heal.” We may not understand how he has this capacity to heal but when we truly seek Him and offer our burdens up to Him, no matter how heavy they may be, anyone can find and feel the cure only He can offer.
If your marriage is struggling, seek repentance and forgiveness. If you are holding on to past hurt, let it go through repentance and forgiveness. If you want to have that spark back in your life with your spouse find it through repentance and forgiveness.
I challenge you to speak openly with your spouse about how you can keep your marriage strong and offer forgiveness quickly- be the first to offer it and you will soon find that forgiveness is offered to you when you most need it.
Check out this site and see videos of couples around the world who have offered forgiveness, sought repentance and saved their marriage. https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/topics/love?lang=eng
No comments:
Post a Comment